Day 66: She will deal with her own shit

The day started with a bad note. One of the 15 girls who expected to be treated very special was asked to leave. The attention she demanded wasn't helping and was not playing a team player role. Today as a last resort tried to get her back. Unfortunately the baggage she piled up was so much that she couldn't see the effort the organisation was undertaking and her mind was covered with a lot of fog. At JTD we do not close our doors to anyone. However one has to come with strong intent to do well in life. We have let go quite a few of them who wanted special attention. And one of our values is Not Famous.

One of our students lost her grandmother. So she had to take a days break.

We do no allow students to visit their families in these 6 months except such emergencies. To be honest if we send the girls home, half of them will be forced to stay back. And we cannot take the risk.

With the new found autonomy, we felt we could leverage some of it. So we did an exercise of seeking feedback from her. Somewhere she feels, things are given to her for free and she cannot give feedback. The first thing was to break that crap. The discussion started with how she cannot feel someone is doing a favour. Everyone has worked super hard to be selected for the bootcamp and sustaining extreme pressures put on her. The pep talk brought some confidence. After a few minutes of silence the feedback started flowing.

1. Some of the students aren't sharing as many chores as others.

2. The internet from mobile hotspots get over at times and we are not left with bandwidth.

3. The water heater is broken and we are bathing with cold water for weeks.

4. Taking borewell water to the terrace for washing clothes has been a daunting task.

5. We are wasting a lot of water which we must conserve.

6. Some of them are't showing respect that she deserves.

7. Mosquitos are coming in the way of quality of sleep.

8. In case someone feels low, could she have a dedicated mentor to talk to.

9. She see's some not working hard with daily chores and starts doing the same.

10. We are eating rice 3 times a day and get bored with that food.

11. When she needs some help some are not responding.

Might seem like an ordinary list of asks. However, this is the first time she has opened up about her issues in public. Her wants have been suppressed for long and what's her rights have been made to look like luxury, Not any more.

And the list went on. And we worked on solutions and assigned the person who brought up the issues to own the solution as well. Like the person who brought in the issue of lack of hot water was asked to make sure everyone gets hot water in 3 days. She would get the budget she requires.

While there were many feedbacks, one feedback was directed to me. Apparently I was behaving in a way where I showed more attention to few of them compared to others. It was true and intentional. However the actions had resulted in diluting psychological safety.

The few whom I spent more time with were potential volunteers who could train more girls like her. I explained the practical limitations of how there isn't enough time to spend with everyone. Then I told each of them about what we are thinking with respect to each of their careers and how we wanted to intervene and facilitate. The explanation brought some clarity. However a great lesson to focus on psychological safety of her.

There is great energy in the house today. She is no more hesitant to talk about issues in the open. Not only that, She is now someone who is going to deal with her shit and not expect someone to rescue her.

Day 67 tomorrow.

Day 65 : https://dhananjayramakrish.wixsite.com/the15girls/post/day-65-and-she-arrives

"In a small house in Bangalore 15 girls from a town Palamaner, AP are training under the guidance of JTD to become full stack developers. They are staying together for 6 months for a gruelling 15 hours a day bootcamp. The series of posts cover their day to day stories". Day 66 of their journey